As most of our family and friends know, we are waiting to get married. It was our plan to be married on September 8th, but that will not happen now. If it were simply up to us, we would have been married the day after we met. Wednesday will be our first anniversary together. I still love Brian with all my heart, and always will. He makes my heart pound with joy every time I see him, or even think of him for that matter. I can not see a day that he and I will not be together. He is my future, and I am his. I want nothing more than than to be his wife. There is one catch…and until this little catch is cleared up, we can’t get married. I pray to God to give me the patience to wait for the day when we will be married. I question my faith in Him sometimes because I get so upset that things are not going my way. I am a brat that way. It is not to say that I do not believe in Him, only that my faith wains from time to time. I question my own faith because I know in my heart that it is His will that we should live by, but I am so impatient. If I have a little more faith this will be easier. There is a purpose under God for everything that happens. He is making us wait for a reason. We are just not privy to that reason right now. I want to strengthen my faith. I believe that this will make me a better wife and mother, not to mention a better person. I believe that one day I can find a way through faith to stop the struggle against His will. (Its a lot easier with Brian by my side too!)
Another struggle that I have is our living situation. We are currently living with one bathroom. It would not be so bad if it were not for the fact we have five children and two adults living in our house right now. LOL…I say right now as if that might change in the next 10 years. Nope, not gonna happen.
We have been searching for houses here lately. Our lease is up at the end of this month and we must either find another one, or stay in this one. I would really rather not stay in a house that does not have a second bathroom. We love this house, and we really love the yard, but we need more space!! Am I struggling against God here? Is the reason that we have not found the house that meets all of our criteria because he wants us to stay here? Yet another thing I can pray about. Just so you all know…I rewrote the previous sentence. I started to say “another thing I have to pray about” but I think it is more fair to say what I changed it to.
I don’t want to struggle against God’s will. I only want what is right for our family. I think that a little stress off of us would be a good thing and being able to get into a bathroom when someone else needs it also will be a HUGE relief.